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"CoMeDy"

1) Fqeer:10Rs dedo chai peyonga
Admi:chai to 5 ki hai
Fqeer:Girl Frnd ko b pelaonga ga
Admi:Fqero ne b Grl Frnd banali
Fqeer:nhi saab Grl Frnd ne fqeer bana diya..




2) Kiyoon "SANDAL" dikhati ho hamey, hum to tumhari "ZULFOUN" pe
marty hain..

Ji chahta hai kho jaaen in mai,
Per in mai bethi "JUOUN" se darty hain :-)




3) Tum Meri Pehli Mohobat To Nahi Ho Lekin...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mene Chaha Hai Tumhe Pehli Mohobat Se Bhi Ziada..


FìN|Ξ¤FùTúr|Ξ
§|v|§



4) Arz kya hai!

Tmhe dekh kr aksar mujhe aajate hein chakkr

wah wah



tumhe dekh kr aksr mujhe ajate hein chakkr

smjh nhi aata tum moannas ho ya muzakkar?:-)


5) L =====
O =====
V =====
E =====

L=loss of money.
o=out of mind.
v=vaste of time.
e=end of life.
So don't LOVE.

Only line maro....




6) TUM Hi TUM HO

Hansne Me
Rone Me

Jagne Me
Sone Me

Pane Me
Khone Me

"TUM Hi TUM HO"

KOYAL Ki Koo Koo Me
Pholon Ki Khushbu Me

Gaaon Ki Gori Me
Aatay Ki Bori Me

"TUM Hi TUM HO"

ABBA Ki Daant Me
TariQ Road Ki Chaat Me

MAma Ki Pitai Me
DiL Pasand Ki Mithai Me

Jhoote Ki Sachai Me
is DiL Ki Gehrai Me

"TUM Hi TUM HO"

PYAR Ki Nishani Me
Student Ki Biryani Me

Chai K Hotel Me
7up Ki Bottle Me

Karli K Saahil Me
Or,
Mere MOBiLE Me

"TUM Hi TUM HO

FùnT3Rz



7) Ishq Main Barbadi Na Karwa Lena


Apne aabu Ke Arman Khaak Main Na Mila Dena

Jo paise ghar se sbzi lanay k liye milty hain

Un Ka Easy-load Na karwa Lena.




8) Samundar bhar syllabus he.
nadi bhar parh pate he.
bal'tea bhar yaad hota he.
mug bhar likh pate he.
chullu bhar number atey he.
aao doob k mar jate he




9) Teri Ankhon Me Aansu

Chehre Pe Hansi Hai

Teri Saans Me Aahain.


Dil Me Bebasi Hai

Tune Pehle Q Na Bataya Mujhko

K


Teri Ungli Darwaze Me Phansi Hai...




10) Us ne mere dil me jaga banali,


Maine bhi uski tasvir apne dil me sajali


Wo mujhse aise hi ruth gaye,


Phir maine bhi uski dusri "BAHAN" phasali:-P

Frustrated *Software Engineer*

A software engineer calls his friend

Hello,

plss.. talk to me... y u r not picking up the call ?????"

Friend: "everything is alright?"

"wat alright.. noting is alright.. see the time.. its 11pm.. n I m coming now from office..no food for me today also.. now I will cook...

From the past 3 days..I m eating only maggie... n my PM eating only me..see the price hikes, everything is 2/- more frm yesterday.. except my salary...I think the begger in front of my office.. earns more than me.. wat shud I do..."

"wat happened.. wat r u talking"

"wat i m talking???? no, I m not talking.. Manager dont allow anyone to talk except the client.. who always talks something.. from past 3 months i didnt take any leave..now from 3 weeks.. i m just begging for one dam leave.. n wat response i got....'why u want to waste an important day of ur life??'

i now finalize one more time... yes..i m gonna quit.. this project...but, i cant. no, i can.. but i wont..uh..."

"ok.. now Relax..."

"How can i relax... for relaxation ppl do yoga, but its night so i cant, then else they watch movies... but see, in every channel all bogus movies r repeating, same.. 'Welcome', 'Suryavansham',Govinda's movies...it really irritates... everyone is faking in TV, fake news, fake stories, fake swaynwars, fake reality...ah see the movies u will get to know... In "Rock-on" last scene... Arjun Rampal's wife says to taxi driver, that "hurry up, we r going late for Airport..." Airport...??? I dont understand, how can thought he find a job in Cruze.. not Airlines..

In 3 Idiots... starting scene... Madhvan does the drama to leave his flight, then what happened to his luggage??

In same movie... Kareena is a doctor.. that too a surgeon.. to bcame a surgeon.. It requires atlest 5[MBBS]+3[MS] years.. so she shud be 28... n Aamir as a student.. only 18 or 20 ?? then after 10 years they decide to marry.. means she is 38 ??

I dont understand, how can spiderman reach to the church-bell in part-3, when he lost all his power ??

I dont understand, how Balakrishna can send a train back just by Hitting his thighs, when I cant ??

I still dont understand how could Rajnikanth fly without wings ?? i just dont....."

"hey stop it now.."

"am I a train who will stop it, by pulling chain... ohh train.. I dont understand, how can I didnt see one in last 3 months... how will i see ? All the time monitor is in front of me.. in night also wen I open my eyes, I find my username and password window.. I need to cool down..

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

but someone tell me howw.. everytime there is a powercut here.. except wen i m not in home.. home, wat rubbish,its a dam single room..where i m living alone with my pillow..

I also want girlfriend yaar, like my rivals have..

smita, rashmi, priti, sruti, madhu.. anyone frm my odc is ok, but they all r engaged, u know y ?

Bcoz their boyfriends do not work in IT companies, outside girls do have chat wid me but only on my salary day..

I got rejected 31 times.. u know y ?? each time I propose them, they ask where do u live..

I say in my Cubicle.. Bcoz thats the only place u can find my soul all the time.."

"hey man, u better take rest, we will talk in Morning"

" Morning.. are u talking the same morning.. Sun rises, bird flies, omlette fries, employee cries... dam , i didnt see the Sun,from 3 years.. how it looks like... every morning I catching shuttle, reaching my birthplace 'cubicle' working n working n leaving when Sun uncle is not there... i will hit my room-owner some days, every morning he used to cry for increasing room rent, I will always tell him to go n meet my Manager... I dont understnd how can i be so nice to my colleagues.. Each time they want leave, they repeat the same old dialogue... "my sister's marriage".. my colleague's 9 sisters got married,

3 times grandpa expired,

5 times frnd went to ICU.. but my colleague is fine..

and his favorite dialog "i need to drop a frnd to hospital, as he is not feeling well" later i find movie tickets in his purse... then my pm's motivational speech.. 'u will work.. u will grow'.. means if i wont work.. i will shrink or what...

when I need hike, I m junior.. still need to grow.. when I do mistakes.. comon man u r senior now, u can not do mistakes.. ahhh God gimme some power to understand the greatness of a super natural person known as PM in this world.."

"ok enough now, i m disconnecting"

"ok enough now, i m disconnecting"

"wait.. i called you.. n u r disconnecting.. u know previously i was normal, when i was in college, i used to talk continuosly watever i want, now i m talking only this much... 'yaa its done', 'that work is completed', 'Please..', 'Good Morning','Lunch','Tea','Snacks'..

I dont know wat i m talking abt, i shud b happy.. i have saturday n sunday.. Saturday to recover from the disaster been made from monday to friday..

Sunday to think about upcoming disaster from monday to friday.. cool naa..

you heard that in 2012 earth will end.. then also my ODC and my cubicle will remain as it is.. u know why ??

because that's not a part of earth.. n we employees are not human beings... we are aliens, so better before u start getting headache... go have a nice dream.. me, I will again start my day tomorrow like I m starting everyday..

good night..."

beeeeeeeeep...beeeeeeeeeep...beeeeeeeeeep

**********************************************************

Next Day, in office:-

Manager: "Dude, Please come here"

"Yes sir.....!!"

M: "I approved your leaves.. i think you should go and have some fun"

I happily came out, and checked my phone Dialled calls..

"Ohhh my God, yesterday I called my PM instead of my friend... Shiit "

*************************************************************************

~ The END

REAL FRIENDS............

This is GOOD...I expect it back too!


A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your
'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!

 

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..

 

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book..

 

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

 

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

 

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

 

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

  

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

 

A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!

 

Pass this on to anyone you care about......if you
get it back you have no beginning, no end.




 
'Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. '


--The task ahead of you, is never as great as the power behind you.

--~--~------ ---~--~-- --~------ ------~-- -----~--~ ----~

Dear Friends,
Give thousand chances to your enemy to become your friend, But don't give a single chance to your friend to become your enemy'



 
Show your friends how much you care.
 

Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND!

Even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you.
 
If it comes back to you, then you will know you have a circle of friends.
YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED.
 
F - Few
R - Relations
I - In
E - Earth
N - Never
D - Die

Beware of Ants

Dear All,

Please read this and advise your friends and family! You may save others' lives!
 
Incident One:   A little boy died because surgeons found ants in his brain! Apparently this boy fell asleep with some sweets in his mouth or with some sweet stuff beside him.
 
Ants soon got to him and some ants in fact crawled into his ear which somehow managed to go to his brain. When he woke up, he did not realize that ants had gone to his head.
 
After that, he constantly complained about itchiness around his face. His mother brought him to a doctor, but the doctor could not figure out what was wrong with him. He took an X-ray of the boy and to his horror; he found a group of live ants in his skull. Since the ants were still alive, the doctor could not operate on him because the ants were constantly moving around. The boy finally died. So please be careful when leaving food stuff near your bed or when eating in bed. This might attract ants. Most importantly,
 
NEVER you or your child eat sweets before going to bed. You or your child might attract ants while you are asleep.
 
Incident Two:   Another similar incident happened in a hospital in Taiwan . This man was warded in the hospital and was constantly warned by the nurses not to leave food stuff by his bedside because there were ants about. He did not heed their advice. Ants finally got to him. His family members said that the man constantly complained about headaches. He died and a postmortem or autopsy was done on him. Doctors found a group of live ants in his head. Apparently, the ants had been eating bits of his brain. So friends, better be safe than sorry. Never leave food stuff beside your bed you when you go to sleep.
 
Please forward this to your friends and relatives.